:::
Dry Drunk :::
Most people
who have experienced a dry drunk reach this
point from not going to A.A meetings.
Go to meetings, (lots of meetings) Get a
sponsor, and get involved in A.A
Sobriety will necessarily have its ups
and downs, its good times and its bad times,
if only because we live in a world which we
are inseparably joined. One doesn't always
sustain sobriety at the same level. There
are fluctuations, shocks and setbacks which,
when addressed within the context of the A.A.
program, so not in themselves imperil the
totality of one's sobriety.
The Dry Drunk Syndrome is a term that should
not be used as a catch-all when one has a
bad day or a bump in life throws us for a
while. Those are ups and downs that everyone
experiences and shouldn't be labeled to be
anything more than what they truly are. The
Dry Drunk is a condition far more serious
than the highs and lows of our day-to-day
existence.
The phrase "dry drunk" has two
significant words for the alcoholic.
"Dry" refers to the abstinence
from drinking, whereas "drunk"
signifies a deeply pathological condition
resulting from the use of alcohol in the
past. Taken together these words suggest
intoxication without alcohol. Since
intoxication comes from the Greek word for
poison, "dry drunk" implies a
state of mind and a mode of behavior that
are poisonous to the alcoholic's well being.
OBVIOUS TRAITS Persons experiencing a
full-blown DRY DRUNK are, for that period,
removed from the world of sobriety; they
fail, for whatever reason, to accept the
necessary conditions for sober living. Their
mental and emotional homes are chaotic,
their approach to everyday living is
unrealistic, and their behavior, both verbal
and physical, is unacceptable.
This lack
of sober realism manifests itself in many
ways.
1.
Grandiosity, put very simply, is an
exaggeration of one's own importance. This
can be demonstrated either in terms of one's
strengths or weaknesses. In either case it
is blatantly self- seeking or self-serving,
putting oneself at the center of attention,
from the "big me" who has ask the
answers to the "poor me" whose cup
of self-pity runneth over and wants all of
our attention.
2.
Judgmentalism is mutually related to
grandiosity. It means that the alcoholic is
prone to make value judgments - strikingly
inappropriate evaluations - usually in terms
of "goodness" or
"badness".
3.
Intolerance leaves no room for delaying the
gratification of personal desires. This is
accomplished by gross confusion of
priorities with the result that a mere whim
or passing fancy is mistakenly given more
importance than genuine personal needs.
4.
Impulsivity is the result of intolerance or
the lack of ability to delay gratification
of personal desires. Impulsivity describes
behavior which is heedless of the ultimate
consequence for self or others.
5.
Indecisiveness is related to impulsitivity
in the sense that while the latter takes no
realistic account of the consequences of the
actions, the former precludes effective
action altogether. Indecisiveness stems from
an unrealistic exaggeration of the negative
possibilities of the action ; so one wavers
between two or more possible courses of
action, more times than not- nothing gets
done.
These
conditions, grandiosity, judgmentalism,
intolerance ,impulsivity, and indecisiveness
taken separately or together can lead to the
following: a) Mood swings, which are
unrelated to the circumstances to which one
tries to link them. Alcoholics zero in on
what they want others to think is the cause
of the mood swing, when it isn't that at
all. More often than not it is something
much deeper than the reason given. Inversely
it can also be something totally
insignificant with no substance at all (e.g.
the sugar is too sweet or the donut is too
round). Any excuse will do. b) Unable to
demonstrate emotions freely, naturally and
without constraint. No emotional
spontaneity, no genuine spark. c)
Introspection. A very healthy thing to do is
difficult if not impossible for the
"dry drunk". It means to look
inward to one's examining each thought and
desire, which is linked directly to one's
attitude. d) Detachment. Become aloof,
display indifference, don't care one way or
the other, no special likes or dislikes,
they withdraw. e) Self-absorption- with a
tendency to call attention to whatever they
have attained. Narcissism which is quite
simply self-love. They become pompous asses.
f) The inability to appreciate or enjoy
themselves - nothing satisfies. g) Evidence
of disorganization, is easily distracted,
complains of boredom, and nothing seems to
fit. h) A nostalgia sets in, a kind of
wistful yearning for something of the past,
such as freedom from care associated
(falsely) with drinking, bars, drinking
associates, and friends; the music, blue
lights, and tinkle of the ice cubes in a
glass in the neighborhood saloon. i) There
can be a kind of romanticism, which includes
unrealistic valuations of lifestyles and
character traits which can be and usually
are objectively dangerous to one's sobriety.
j) Escapism. Fantasizing, daydreaming, and
wishful thinking are very much in evidence
in the dry drunk syndrome as the individual
slips farther and farther from reality.
Since the abnormality of the alcoholic's
attitudes and behavior during the drinking
career is generally recognized, the
persistence or these character traits after
stopping drinking (or the reappearance after
an interlude of sobriety) is equally
abnormal.
The term "dry drunk" therefore
denotes the absences of favorable change in
the attitudes and behavior of the alcoholic
who is not drinking, or the reversion of
these by the alcoholic who has experienced a
period of successful sobriety. From these
conditions, it is to be inferred that the
alcoholic is experiencing discomfort in
life.
The self-destructive attitudes and behavior
of the dry drunk alcoholic are different in
degree but not in kind. The alcoholic, when
drinking, has learned to rely on a deeply
inadequate, radically immature approach to
solving life's problems. And this is exactly
what one sees in the dry drunk.
ANALYSIS OF DRY DRUNK BEHAVIOR The alcoholic
who rationalizes their own irresponsible
behavior are also likely to find fault in
the attitudes and behavior of others.
Although not denying their own shortcomings,
they attempt to escape notice by cataloging
in great detail the transgressions of
others.
The classic maneuver of the dry drunk is
over-reaction. The alcoholic may attach a
seemingly disproportionate intensity of
feeling to an ordinary insignificant event
or mishap.
Some alcoholics who experience the dry drunk
seem to know all the answers, are seldom at
a loss for words when it comes to
self-diagnosis. Their knowledge is quite
impressive, their apparent insight, as
opposed to genuine insight, is convincing.
CORRECTIVE MEASURES: #1 Go To Meeting. Those
undergoing a dry drunk lead impoverished
lives. They experience severe limitations to
grow,, to mature, and benefit from the
possibilities that life offers. They lack
the freshness and spontaneity that genuinely
sober alcoholics manifest. Their life is a
closed system, attitudes and behaviors are
stereotyped, repetitive, and consequently
predictable.
Alcoholics
learn early that humility and a power
greater than them- selves are the bedrock
for a genuine and productive sobriety. An
unusual measure of self-discipline must
accompany the ego deflation process. Needed
is self-discipline in honesty, patience and
responsibility towards the recovery process
[and acceptance of their disease]. [To
improve long term goals of sobriety be aware
of mental stressors, get more involved in
the recovery program, get active in the 12
steps, get and use a sponsor, talk things
out.] Hopefully. they will begin to
appreciate the ironic folly of those
alcoholics who think life has suddenly
become manageable again; whose sanity is
beyond question; who see no need of turning
their lives over to a power greater then
them- selves; who find personal inventories
unnecessary since they are seldom in the
wrong and are no longer subject to the
embarrassing need of repairing the wrongs
they have done.
When dry drunk alcoholics awaken to this
irony that they, still unmanageable, still
powerless, are the ones who have made this
remarkable "recovery," they may
feel sufficiently mortified to want to
change.
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