Most of us were unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics.
Ya I thought I was an alcoholic but not a real one, ya an alcoholic but not really like an 
alcoholic alcoholic.Bodily different ... who me?
Yes I did the countless vain attempts to
prove that I could drink like others.could go on and on... I love the 1st 2 pages of the chapter.
It explains the insanity I had... have
The great obsession
of every abnormal drinker is that maybe somehow, someday he/I will be able to control 
and enjoy his/my drinking.